all is said with a nickname like that. My Zippo lighter had been stolen my very first week in Africa, in a public bus. Don’t underestimate Kenyan thieves! After all these are the gifted thieves who stole wallets and weapons from FBI agents while they were investigating their embassy bombing in 1998! Quite a feat.
since then I’ve been watchful and been spared but stories keep on coming. And it’s not only about petty thieves, the nickname applies to the politicians, the police, the army etc. which makes the country well ranked on the Transparency Index.
this week I was there for a few days normally, just to have the plane inspected. Well some problems appeared about the plane papers and she is now stranded for a few days. So I came back yesterday as a passenger. Since I only had a soft bag with me, and that the Kenyan luggage handlers are notoriously dishonest (Nairobbery, remember), I decided to keep my valuables with me, that included my multi tool knife. So for the check-in, I wore my kind of pilot uniform, white shirt and golden bars (galons en français), ID pass, and pretended I was on duty. So I could keep my knife and water with me. Once in a while though, when they spot the knife, not always, I still have to explain that I’m not going to slash my own throat in the air, just to dissipate their doubts about my sanity! Then I forgot to remove my bars. Once on board, a lady (guess where from) asked me if I shouldn’t be seated in the cockpit instead of with the passengers. I had had time to prepare my answers because I had spotted her eyeing me for a while. So I said:
“ yes, well spotted M’am, normally I do, but the copilot is one of those brat youngsters who think they know it all and don’t listen. I want to teach him a lesson, make him sweat, and call for my help when he is about to screw up….”
and I plunged into my book, keeping a serious face. She was really puzzled for a while. I even thought (and hoped) she was going to call a stewardess and check! But her neurons finally caught up.
nevertheless Nairobi has a bad reputation, I still prefer this city over Dar es Salaam, no doubt. People are different for once, much more relaxed, not so subservient and shy. For instance, I was in a queue, yes a queue, quite a rarity in Tanzania, but in Kenya, a normal thing apparently. Well we were about 10 in that queue. And here is a little punk trying to squeeze in. Suddenly here is that girl, maybe 25 years old, scolding at that idiot! “hey you, where do you think you’re going? Didn’t you notice there is a queue?”. The guy was mortified! I loved that scene for many reasons, first that there is a queue concept, that most people follow it, and that a woman, yes a woman, and young, told off that man! I was also really impressed that she used a sarcastic tone on top. Loved it.
if one day, you ever need to escape from a country, it’s worth trying to be disguised as a pilot, pretending you know where you’re going, what you’re doing. Once inside the airport, ask all the small plane pilots or cargo plane pilots you meet if they can give you a lift. Or sneak in the cargo pods. It might work. Look at that movie with Tom Hanks and Leonardo Di Caprio, “catch me if you can”…sometimes I do it on purpose just for fun, I don’t show my ID pass, just wearing a white shirt and golden bars. And I don’t even have a blue hat or blue trousers and jacket. Just a pair of brown or green bush trousers, not shaven sometimes, some comfy shoes and pronto, walking in as if I own the place, greeting the employees as if you know them before they ask a question (if…). It always works in Tanzania, nevertheless they have received a big bunch of money for training and security equipment since Sept 11th. The initial enthusiasm faded quite quickly. Kenyans are a bit more suspicious in the main airports (Nairobbery, remember…), and that’s probably because they’ve tried it all and are more suspicious of any ‘colleagues’…But in Nairobi-Wilson airport, I just go freely as in Tanzania.
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