I just found this old wedding invitation in my junk. Quite a piece, I couldn’t resist to share it. I have erased last names and phone numbers by courtesy.
one of my colleagues had received it and thrown it away. I thought it was worth a little salvaging. From the outside it looks quite normal, slightly kitsch as usual for a wedding invitation. But…
once you open it, you realise this is not an invitation but a contribution! A world of a difference…. That was the 1st thing that shocked me a bit.
then there is a dateline! No fear no shame, huh?
the word “request” appears twice.
the word “contribution” twice too and “contribute” once.
the word “materially” once.
and a drawing of a wallet and money…just in case you didn’t understand those 6 hints (dumb you), here is a 7th to clarify it was all about money!
a little “god bless you” doesn’t hurt and it’s free, right? So why not…
4 phone numbers so you can’t say they were all busy.
because Mohamed is a friend and a relative…sure thing! He is still not invited!
I don’t criticize grammar issues as English is not the first language here.
and a last general note, did you notice the choice in title? Next to the usual “Mr/Mrs” etc, there is “Prof, Dr, Rev”. That’s title thing is quite a feat in Africa. Title grabbing is a national sport. You can piss off a high ranked somebody by using the wrong title or no title at all. Add a peps of corruption and people buy their title. Universities and other institutions etc are happy to oblige, between crooks, there must be some understanding I suppose, and “prof”, “honorable”, “doctor”, “chief”…are unofficially on sale. Of course there is a devaluation in title if the desk clerk is “prof” or if a colleague is already “honorable”. Too bad for the people who really deserve their title…So some smart Nigerian (as usual) guys created a business for “highly” and other sweet terms to add to existing titles. There was a superb and funny article on BBC Africa.
I’m called captain or capteni quite often by the way though they perfectly know my name, well or think they do: Beni, Benny, Bean(!), Benuwah, Benwa from the local people, and funny enough “Benoir” or “Benwar” from expats. Interesting but I don’t really know why this is the common mistake from various expat nationalities. But I knew from day 1 in Africa this would come, that’s why I became Ben right away. By the way my full first name is spelt “Benoît”. Write it down 100 times now, thank you. Next time somebody addresses me with a captain title only , I’ll pretend to be shocked and require a “ultimate honorable captain” title just to see the reaction, heehee.