Feminists would be enraged by some details in Tanzania, not only about the domestic violence and lack of rights… there is that female nurse in one of our hospitals who delivered twins. Suddenly no one refers to her as Castuli, her first name, but by Mama Wawili. That nickname means Mother of the Two. It looks like her personality has been erased, that she only exists as a breeder (and preferably little boys). That attitude is not only reserved for twins, many women would lose their first name and become “mother of…”
A barren woman is in serious trouble in Africa. In some cases, another mother- a real friend I’d say- could give a baby to a childless one to relieve the social stigma.
A Masai woman would finally get respected when she has delivered 4 boys. And that’s not enough, they have to make it to the warrior age too.
White people here are always eyed suspiciously, with incomprehension or pity if they are childfree, even more if the decision not to have any is known as in my case and at my venerable age.
Having said that, I’m sure you have picked some similarities on the baby issue with our western cultures. Wasn’t it common to choose a wife on her hip measurements and anyway to send her back if she proved to be barren? What about the social pressure from normal people upon younger ones to have children? I said “normal” because here in Arusha enters the 4th dimension, that is the missionaries or same orientated-minded people… who think they have a godly right and mission to harass the “others”.
I’ve lost count on how many times I had to explain my choice to them and they are even worse as they insist, bring on the subject on a regular basis and show little tact. And thus they don’t seem to realise that some people would love to get just one child but can’t for medical reasons. Just try to imagine the pain to have the subject thrown in your face.
There is such a near brain dead religious woman here who witnessed her good friend and me split over the child issue. Then what does she do as soon as I have a new girlfriend? She brings the subject again!! Time to get some yoga lessons with that one…
Lately I’ve mentioned the magic word: vasectomy! I can nearly read in their mind “Vade Retro, Satanas”! At best commiseration and prayers to come for my lost soul…but I haven’t been bothered too much lately. The message got through their intolerant neurons…
Anyway not long ago the situation for women in the West was not brighter. Africans are always surprised that in Europe white men hardly behaved differently about up to 40 years ago and that there are still some remnant attitudes. I love to explain those things and see what happens. And so lately, a doctor asked a confirmation about our women by then having no right except to keep quiet and obedient, no work, being beaten with no fuss... I did confirm the main idea, the guy was a bit confused, paused and then asked “what happened to you guys, why did you let it go?”. I said we didn’t really see it coming…and that African women were on the rise too. He got scared and went into denial, poor guy.